Deload and randomness

So I'm starting deload again - really need it after the last three weeks of heavy lifting. Made some significant progress in some areas (managed to pull 315 on my deadlift for 4 just this past week) and some minor progress in other areas (squat form is slowly getting better and my confidence in the lift is SLOWLY improving).

This week is all about focusing on my form in all my lifts - light weight=perfect opportunity to do a serious form check - every lift as perfect as I can get it. I'm also planning to focusing a little more on the cardio this week - let it slide a little the last few week, but I need to get back at it.

My weight is still stuck - even though I'm eating and doing everything I should be - and its super frustrating. I NEED to get some of this weight off, for competition yes, but also for me - I HATE being stuck like this. I just keep plugging on - hoping that at some point my body will realize that its ok to let it go - really looking forward to the day that happens.

Still working on my attitude adjustment - trying to stay positive and trying to reduce the amount of "whining" that I've been doing - lifting hurts, really need to learn to suck it up and live with the pain because pain=progress in this particular arena. Talking about it doesn't make it hurt less - just makes it more annoying.

Planning on remaxing all my lifts next week - I'm expecting increases in Deadlift and Squat (assuming I can get my form right), Bench still feels weak to me - all I can do is keep working and hope that things fall into place when I need them to.

I'm not made of stone...

So I've spent most of my life with these nice comfy walls built up - good solid protection from the world at large. Seems as though along with the weight, I've lost some of those walls, and while that is, in theory, a good thing...it leaves me vulnerable to having to deal with feelings that I used to just suppress with food. I may appear tough, you may think nothing ever really gets to me, but inside I'm still vulnerable to all the old insecurities that lead to me being overweight, unhappy, and unhealthy for so many years.

While most of the time I can deal with them, occassionally someone will say the wrong thing the wrong way and I become that fat, unaccepted, unworthy girl that I was for most of my adult life. The problem is most of the time this happens with people that I've put my complete trust in, people who honestly have NO idea that while they were joking, they've managed to hit one of those buttons. I'm left feeling hurt, and angry, and they have no idea or understanding of why. Its not something I can explain in the moment - because that would result in me sounding like I'm some big baby who can't take a joke, so I just shut down, revert to being quiet and trying to fade back into the background until I get over it. Of course I never really get "over it", I just stuff it down where it festers until another button gets pushed and I get even more hurt.

Don't really know how to deal with this new piece of self discovery - just felt like I really needed to get it off my chest.

Prowler Sprints and Squat work

So Friday was one of those days where I just really wanted to beat the crap out of something, which is exactly what I told Brad when I texted him asking for an open session. Apparently he was confused and thought I wanted HIM to beat the crap out of ME...thus the prowler sprints. 30 minutes of prowler sprints - all the while him telling me that I'm not giving 100%, ended with me as close as I've ever been to throwing up. Literally sat on the floor in the bathroom for 20 minutes waiting to either throw up or for the room to stop spinning. Sad part is - in hind site, I think he was right - I didn't give him 100%. I'm finding the mental part of this process to be SOO much harder than the physical - pushing through the point where it hurts and I'm uncomfortable and giving everything I've got is scary. I hate it when he's right - which is pretty much all the damn time.

Anway - the session served its purpose - I was too nauseas and too exhausted to be irritated anymore, so mission accomplished.

Saturday was an odd gym day for me - got in early as usual to get in my pre-workout stretching and warm up, and headed for the squat rack. My squat is improving incrementally - I still have alot of work to do and alot of the problem is my confidence, which means I need to spend more time under the bar focusing on my form and getting my head straight. Spent most of that session (really all of that session) squatting - went from light weight to my heavy lift of the day, trying to correct form breaks (I keep dropping my head and shoulders forward, which pulls the weight forward and puts me in this really impossible position to get up out of). I will get it. Brad headed off to his clients, I continued with the lifting plan for the day - took about another half hour to finish everything on my own.

Here's the breakdown of the session:
Squats:
2x5xbar only - warm up
2x3x135
1x3x190
1x3x215
1x3x240 <-- this was actually only 2 which sucks
2x10x135 <-- attempting to fix form and get some muscle memory.

Conventional DL (turned into Rackpulls) 5x3x215
Conventional RDL 3x10x145 <--need to go heavier on these next time, they're too easy at 145
Walking Lunge 3x10x27.5(2)
Single Leg Glute Bridge 3x10 each leg

Waited around for my little sister - she wanted some help with an upperbody lifting workout, then did some minor cardio with Sarah before her training session (at this point I've been in the gym for 3.5 hours and still have not done any cardio). Hung out with Sarah while she lifted, then headed for cardio. Did about 20 minutes on the treadmill before we decided enough was enough for the day.

Ran into Brad on the way out - he'd asked for a Bench spot (lift-off really) earlier. Hung out with him while he lifted. That was quite an enlightening experience for me. He's demonstrated pretty much every lift I've ever done, but I've never seen him lift at a level that was work for him. Seeing him work helped bring home the fact that I'm still holding back - he's told me before that lifting is not supposed to be "comfortable" but I don't think it ever really clicked until I saw him work. When he demonstrates for me it all looks so easy. I got to see the reality of how hard he pushes himself and I realized he's trying to get me to that point that I can/will push myself that hard with or without him. I think I'm really starting to "get it".

So saturday ended up being a 7 1/2 hour day in the gym - which was a lot of fun (really no place I'd rather have been), except I commited the cardinal sin of not eating during that time - bad planning on my part. Was STARVING by the time I got done.

Back on track today - getting the water in and focusing on no more whining, and no more holding back. This is my heavy week - I'm planning on pulling 315 at least 3 times during Wednesday's max DL session, focusing on my squat form and pushing through the pain to see how far my body will take me.

New Week - New Attitude

So with the beginning of a new week, I have decided to put forth a new attitude. I have been dancing with a serious case of burn-out for the last few weeks. I think alot of it is the way I am approaching things. I've been giving 50% to everything trying to maintain the energy necessary to get it all done, when in reality I'm only actually accomplishing half of what I need to do and its taking twice as long as it should. Focus is my big problem, when I'm in the gym I'm thinking about work and when I'm at work I'm thinking about lifting...obviously NOT the best way to accomplish goals on either front.

So, I started the week determined to focus on what is in front of me and deal with the rest as it comes.

Monday's lifting session went well - although I have to say solo lifting is not nearly as fun as it is with someone else around. Here's the breakdown:

Speed bench - 5x5x105 - increased the weight here, I was informed the other day that I am apparently a "round-downer" which translates into "sissy" for those that don't speak Brad...so, everything gets rounded up from here on out - honestly it makes more sense to round up - you simply don't get stronger by lifting less weight.

Superset 1:
T-bar rows 4x10x80
Band pushups 4x10

Landmines - 3x20x70

Superset 2:
DB Press - 3x10x40
DB Row - 3x10x45
The goal is to increase these to 45 and 50 next week - I'm a little intimidated by the increase without a spot, but its time to suck it up and push through the fear.

Cardio - Treadmill sprints incline 3.5-5.0, 6mph - 9.5mph, 30 seconds on, two minutes down - finished with a 30sec sprint at 15% incl and 6.0mph.


Tuesday - Cardio
Stairmill - 30 min, 5 min intervals 3-13, 3-14, 3-16, repeat

Looking forward to max dead day tomorrow - going in full bore, there is no "sissy" in this girl!

Lifting and some random thoughts

Lifting went better after Monday's disaster this week. Ate better, got more sleep and my energy level and strength increased significantly.

Tuesday - DE Bench
Speed Bench - 5x5x100

Super-Set 1: 40x10
Chest-Supported Row - 70lbs
supersetted with banded push-ups

Landmines - 4x10x70

Superset 2:3x10
DB presses 40lbx2
DB Rows 45lb

Wednesday - Cardio (stairs 40 minutes intervals from 3-16)

Thursday - ME Squat
Speed Deads - 5x5x225
Squat - 3x5x135 Form Work (decided to work on fixing my form rather than super heavy weight today)
2x5x180 - these were much easier than Monday's 170 even without the belt, so we must be making progress
Conventional RDL's - 4x10x140
Walking Lunges - 3x10x25
Single Leg Glute Bridge - 3x10 each leg
Skipped vertical jumps till we can fix my landing issues
Stairs - 30 minutes, intervals 3-16

Friday - tires, sledge hammers, prowlers and such
Heavy Tire Flips - 2x5
Sledge hammer swings - 2x10
Prowler Sprints (+270lbs) - x5

Saturday - ME Bench
Warm up 5x45
5x95
5x115
4x135
DB Rolling Extensions -
2x10x15
1x6x15
1x7x15 (with assistance)
Military Press 3x10x70
Stiff Arm Pull downs - 3x10x40
Plank: 3x:60
Treadmill - cardio 30 min intervals

I'm seeing a difference in my mental process lately - in years past, stress, disappointment, fatigue, pretty much any emotion had me running for high carb high fat "comfort foods". While I can't always get there when I want to, those emotions now have me wishing for heavy weights and hard work - stress relief at its finest. Keep focused, keep working and eventually success is sure to come!

Post Deload Troubles

So, last week was a serious deload for me, didn't pick up a single weight except for some really light bench and military press on Monday. Spent the week doing rehab work, mobility work, form work and some cardio. Really felt like I needed the break, and I was hoping it would allow me to come back super strong on Monday...

Went in Monday afternoon, super tired, and attempted a Max Effort Deadlift day that ended up a disaster in my personal opinion - here's how it went

Speed Squat - 5x5x170 - these like to killed me they were so heavy. And while the term "speed squat" may imply I was moving quickly (which was the plan), what really happened was I struggled to get to depth and then struggled to get back up. My form has become a DISASTER. I'm leaning too far forward, which is putting me at a bad angle to drive the weight up, and worse than that, I apparently have a corkscrew issue with my hips where my left side is slightly forward of the right - this results in a lovely little corkscrew motion on my way up out of the squat - PROBLEM!

Followed this mess with Max Effort Deads - again everything felt SUPER HEAVY!
5x135 (this was supposed to be a light warm up - not today)
5x215
5x250
3x280 (that was SUPPOSED to be 5+ but I barely got the 3rd one off the floor)

Did the rest of my accessory work - tried to stay motivated but I was drained
Bulgarian split squats (4x10 each leg)
Broad Jumps (3x10 - Brad nixed the last set as apparently I'm landing like a ton of bricks and he's afraid I'm going to hurt my knee until we work on landing form again)
Pallof Press 3x45

Made a half-hearted attempt at cardio (15 minutes) then gave up, came home, ate dinner and went to bed.

Given this disaster, I was wondering where I went wrong - after such a serious deload I should have been raring to go...this is what I came up with:

1) I had my monthly treat day on Saturday after we took measurements. While I didn't go too far off the reservation, I did have ALOT of salt and not nearly enough water.

2) I didn't rest as much as I probably should on my off day - went walking with Mom and my Aunt up the side of Iroquois Park - about 2 hours (half uphill/half down hill) and didn't get enough food or water (no way I made my 2500 cal that day)

3) Not nearly enough sleep on Sunday night, followed by WAY under eating on Monday (partially as a result of the temporary crown for my rootcanal that was put on that morning).

So it was sort of a perfect storm of wrong-ness, but its a lesson I definitly learned! Have to EAT to LIFT!

Did MUCH better today - had a decent Dynamic Effort Bench day:

Speed Bench 5x5x100 (yes these were actually done with speed)
Chest Supported Row 4x10x70
Supersetted with Band Pushups (4x10)

Landmines - 3x20x70

Dumbell presses - 3x10x40(each hand)
Supersetted with DB Rows (3x10x45)

Got in 40 solid minutes of decent cardio (would have been better but apparently my shoe/sock combination didn't work out well as I now have a fancy new blister on my heel and NO idea why)

Tomorrow is a cardio day - and I may throw in some more squat form work (considering trying something new called a wall squat to help me work on staying upright and not leaning so far forward into the squat, but have to clear that with the boss first)

Things WILL improve - just have to keep plugging away!

Later Ya'll :)

Insecurities, Goals and Progress

So its been a while since I updated here, mostly because things have been so crazy lately I haven't had time to really sit down for more than a few minutes. Things have been up and down the last few weeks.

I've been reflecting a lot lately about my history, how I ended up where I was before I started this process nearly two years ago. I have/had lots of insecurities that resulted from people and circumstances in my past that I allowed to have way more impact on my life than I should have. I'd love to be able to say that I'm a completely different person, that my increased physical strength has translated into emotional strength and that those things no longer affect my life, but there are times that a random comment, even when said in jest, will bring back all of those insecurities. Its a process, and the longer I work, the harder I work, the stronger I will get, both emotionally and physically.

There is discussion of a powerlifting meet at my gym sometime in the fall - and if this actually happens, it will likely be my first actual competition. Assuming I can get another 50lbs off between now and then so I can compete in a weight class that is more appropriate to my lifting level at the moment. Having something concrete to focus on is definitly keeping me more focused and I think heading in the right direction.

I've been super focused on my diet for the last few weeks, all fresh foods, getting in exactly the right amount of calories and in the right proportions. I'm hoping that the consistency will help get my weight moving again. I'm super frustrated at the moment, but I'm sticking with it...trusting the plan and believing what Brad keeps telling me "I can get you where you want, if you just do what I tell you to do."

Lifting has been amazing, I hit a major PR on my deadlift last weekend when I pulled 330 - that's a 50lb increase from my last max in January of this year. Bench is hanging in there - haven't remaxed yet, but I'm feeling pretty strong with that lift at the moment. Squat is the bane of my existence right now, partially because I lack flexibility in my right knee thanks to multiple knee surgeries years ago, but mostly I think because my form is out of whack - I'm struggling with it right now, but with work it will come together eventually.

Until then I will just keep pushing becuase I know that with the right support, when I set my mind to it there is nothing I can't accomplish

Updates

So its been crazy the past week or so, with me trying to get all of my data collected and analyzed for work. Still been lifting and trying to focus on getting in the appropriate number of healthy calories, but just haven't had time to spare to update the training log. Rather than trying to go back and give you all a run down of the past week or so all at once, I'll hit the highlights here and start with the training log for the week starting with tonights work out.

So last week was a week of accomplishment and PR's in both aspects of my life, lifting and work. On Tuesday of last week, I maxed my bench with a brand spanking new PR of 155. That is still somewhat unbelievable to me, as I can still remember the days not so long ago when 90lbs seemed really tough and I honestly wondered if I'd EVER get 135. I'm now pushing 135 for sets of 4 or 5 and I love it.

That day I also recieved notification that I had been awarded a grant from the Kentucky Academy of Sciences that will basically fund the second project in my dissertation research. This grant is my first "real" money, received from a granting agency that was NOT part of the University I was attending, so I am pretty excited that my work has been deemed to have enough merit to warrent funding!

Did some basic cardio type work on Wednesday and Thursday, trying to keep my back loose (I let my form fall apart the previous saturday while deadlifting and managed to tweak my lower back). By friday I was feeling back to normal again, so we decided to go with a max effort deadlift day. Brad went, in his words, "off the reservation" with this workout. We decided rather than full deadlifts to do rack-pulls as my hip drive timing is still off and we wanted to work on that issue. Pulled my heaviest weight to date during that session: Rack Pull, from the bottom pin, PR of 325x2! Followed that up with speed squats, step-ups, broad-jumps and pallof presses...have to say this is one of my favorite workouts, i'm generally wiped by the end and its great!

Saturday morning was my max effort bench day, pressed 135x5, followed by 135x4, another PR for me. Military press was pretty weak that morning, just one of those days I guess. Got in good sets of incline presses and straight am press downs, followed by minute planks to round out the day. All in all a good couple of days. Took Sunday off which is good since I've got another ME Bench day (formerly known as MP day) with sarah tonight, and then ME squat day tomorrow!

Hope you all are staying focused and working toward your goals...remember to keep your focus on today!

You have to want it bad enough to work for it!

Catching up on this weeks training

So we started with the new "higher volume" cycle on Thursday, and I have to say that I was worrying needlessly...the work is tough, don't get me wrong, but as per usual, Brad hasn't thrown anything at me that I can't handle. Here's the rundown

Thursday - (Bench Day)
Speed Bench - 5x5x85 + chains
T-bar row - 4x10x70
Superset 1:
Landmine - 3x20x70
Band Pushup - 4x10
Superset 2: (probably could have gone heavier on these, but my arms were still hurting from all the rope fun this week, so I backed off a little - will increase next week)
SA Press - 3x10x35
SA Row - 3x10x35

Friday was a lighter day for me, mostly because I was an emotional disaster for some reason (probably a little to do with not sleeping well), so I just hung out with Sarah and Brad while she did her deadlifts - Brad lets me "coach" a little on these days which is good practice for me. Then she and I did cardio. Had planned to do timed bosu ball sled pushes/laps (got one it at 1:15.45), but Sarah's knee was bothering her, so we scrapped that idea and headed for treadmill sprints...been awhile so I didn't even try for a PR here, but I did manage 11mph for 27 seconds at the end, all in all not a bad workout.

Saturday - (Squat Day)
Speed Squats - 5x5x135 + Chains - switched back to back squat for the first time in months with these and I LOVED it...felt good to have the weight on my back again, and getting to depth was much easier than usual.
ME DL (5-3-1 protocol)
5x165
5x190
10x215
StepUps - 4x10x50
Broad Jumps (clearing 3+ carpet tiles) - 4x10
Palloff Press - 4x10x35

Tomorrow is my off day - going to enjoy the break and work on getting my meals planned for the week. We calculated my caloric needs this week and have decided I'm not eating nearly enough, so we are upping my calorie intake to 2200/day with ~100-110 g of protein/day. This is a heck of a lot harder than I thought it would be...2200 healthy calories is a WHOLE lot of food.

Challenge and Control

So I made a realization today...this may not come as a surprise to most of you reading this, but I have always known that I have some control issues. I don't like the feeling of being out of control, of not knowing what is coming and how, or whether I can handle it. Over the past year+ I thought I had worked through most of that with Brad in the gym...he's been throwing new stuff at me pretty regularly. Well, I obviously was wrong....

Last week he told me he's changing things up this week when I come off deload, said he was going to increase my volume. I had no idea what he was talking about, and didnt really realize how much that bothered me until I spent the majority of that night tossing and turning, while my little brain worked up all KINDS of ideas about what he might ask of me. Control issues much?

On top of that, he mentioned a week or so ago (really jokingly I think) that one of his new goals was to push me hard enough that I would literally puke. This particular statement has been in the back of my mind all week, especially not knowing what was coming in terms of the mysterious "volume increase". Here's where my control issue comes in...I honest to god don't think I have it in me to let him push me that hard. I seriously think that quitting would be an option before allowing myself to lose enough control that I could puke in a public place (we all know that tears would coincide here and seriously - puking and crying are about as weak in my mind as a girl could get in the gym). I happened to mention my concern to him tonight - which possibly due to some poor word choices on my part, ended with him assuming I was challenging him to prove me wrong...which he tried valiently to do tonight. He failed, although he did get damn close, and nearly made me pass out in the process, twice.

I know some of you are reading this wondering why in the hell I would even consider letting him attempt this craziness...and here's the thing - its not about whether or not I ever actually throw up during a work out - its about not allowing my fear, and my control issues to short change me and keep me from reaching my full potential - "I can't" is NOT a phrase I like in my vocabulary, but I caught myself using it multiple times tonight while he tried to kill me in a 30 minute session. I am not a quitter, I am stronger than that and I honestly believe that the only reason he's pushing this issue is that he KNOWS I'm not a quitter and that I'm strong enough to handle what he's throwing at me.

I have my last deload lifting day tomorrow - deadlift, followed by broad jumps and pistol squats. Thursday starts the new "higher volume" cycle that we will be working over the next two months...my goal for thursday - no use of the evil phrase "I can't" - I will push until I can either no longer hold the weights up or until I pass out...which ever comes first. Time to suck it up and give up a little more control - maybe easier said than done, but if I want to get better and stronger, then I have to give control to the only person I trust to get me there...Brad.

This week and Change

Training this past week has been a whole lot of interesting, but fun and really educational in some respects. Food has been on target all week - got in at least 5 gallon+ water days too! Started deloading this week - that will continue through Wednesday of next week.

Brad has promised changes to come starting on Thursday - increasing volume, which I'm told means a change in load, reps and sets, and probably some new stuff. Anybody that knows me well knows that change is not my favorite word (especially when i don't know what the change is going to look like). I'm trying to maintain the positive - I trust Brad implicitly, so I know whatever he throws at me will work, and I know its something he believes I'm capable of handling. I'm sure it will be tough...but I'm equally as sure that I'm up for the challenge!

Here's a quick recap of the week:
Monday, Jan 21, 2011 - Cardio Only
30 minutes - stairs intervals (3-13, 3-14, 3-15, repeat)
25 minutes - Arc (30 sec speed intervals, 2 minutes down)

Tuesday Feb 1, 2011 (Military Press 5-3-1)
Bar Only (warm-up) - 1x5
75 - 1x5
85 - 1x3
95 - 1x2
Tricep Pressdowns - 50 - 5x10
Lat Pulldowns - 90 - 5x10

Cardio - Stairs 30 minutes (Intervals 3-7)
Went a little lighter here because we'd already done some ball work with Brad for Sara's training session and I wanted to save my legs for deadlifting tomorrow...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011 (Deadlift 5-3-1)
By the way - this was my first glove-free, chalk-handed deadlift session...gotta toughen up my hands!

2x10 Warm-ups (don't remember what weight we did these at)
185 - 1x5
215 - 1x3
245 - 1x5 (could have probably done one more, but I lost my form on the 5th and didn't want to throw my back out pulling another one)
Broad Jumps - 5x10, got a little over three carpet tiles...shooting for 4
Pistol Squats - 5x10

No cardio today - had to immediately head back to campus to cover an exam. Was REALLY sore!

Thursday, February 3, 2011 (Bench DELOAD)
This is where things started to get interesting this week - Brad got some new toys (4 sets of 10lb chains...he put them to use quite well I have to say) Don't really know what my bench lifts were, exactly because I wasn't really paying attention...suffice to say it was at least what was planned (plus chains hanging from the bar)

PLANNED:
Bar only (warm-up) - 1x5
50 + chains - 1x5
65 + chains - 1x5
80 + chains - 2x5 - had to do two sets here because I misunderstood what he wanted, which was slow negative and rapid explosion on the positive end of the lift - worked like a charm once I understood the plan :)
Chest-Supported Row - 80 - 5x10
Chain Push-ups - 40 - 5x10

Friday - February 4, 2011 (unscheduled day of torture)
Sarah had an hour schedule with Brad and wanted some company so I jumped in with her...what a killer workout, particularly on a deload week...

Tire Pushes - 2x10 (warm-up)
Circuit of PAIN (we repeated this little circuit 3 times...really painful, but effective)
Kettle Bell Swings - 35lb - 1x10
Medicine Ball Slams - 1x10
Dueling Chains - 30 seconds - these are horrifically tough - if you watch biggest loser you've seen this exercise done with ropes, one in each hand, creating a ripple alternating right to left...now picture it with 20lbs of chain...ouch!

Saturday Feb 5, 2011 (Front Squat - DELOAD)
Bar only Warm up - 2x10
60 - 1x5
75 - 1x5
90 - 1x5

Glute-ham raise - 3x10 - Brad made me do these a little slower, working on more control, which makes them hurt ever so much more
Vertical Jump - 5x10 - I'm beginning to wonder if my verticle will EVER improve - these frustrate me to no end! but i will NOT give up :)

Cardio - Treadmill 30 minutes

What can I do today...

I know there are alot of people out there that are unhappy with the current state of their health, and I know that for most people it can seem like change is unattainable - its just too hard. I know this because I used to BE one of those people. At nearly 300 pounds, the possibility that I could ever be healthy, much less fit was unbelievable. It was exhausting just living day to day, and the thought of adding in exercise to my already busy schedule - just the thought of it wore me out. One day I realized that all I could really control is what I do today - I can't change yesterday, and I certainly can't predict what will happen tomorrow - today is mine and TODAY I WILL EAT RIGHT AND EXERCISE.

My reason for telling you this is to let you know that it IS possible to be healthy, and that you don't have to do it all at once. I've told several people this before, but becoming healthy after years of over eating and under exercising is sort of like recovering from any other addiction - you can only focus on TODAY, not on the rest of your life. So my challenge to you all is this...live your life in the present and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. I promise you will feel so much better for it...

Just for TODAY:

• CHOOSE to go for a walk rather than watching an extra hour of television or take the stairs rather than the elevator, but find some way to incorporate more movement into your day (even better stop procrastinating about joining the gym, using a gym you have access too, or that you are already paying for)
• CHOOSE to only eat fresh food - nothing from a box with preservatives and chemicals
• CHOOSE to drink more water and less soft drinks and coffee (shoot for at least a gallon of water today - yes that is on top of any coffee you might have).

The little things add up to great gains over time - we all had to take baby steps, make positive choices today and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when the day is done!

Pushing Beyond Limits

So this past week has been interesting. I've been pushing myself harder in my lifting and cardio sessions, partially because I feel like I've backed off a little in the last few months, and partially to see how much I'm really capable of, and I have to say its been fun. The food issue has been a bit of a challenge on some days, and right on target on others - managed a 1lb loss for the week though, so I'll call that a win. Water is still up and down - I think I hit a gallon or more at least three days this week - looking for seven, but the days I teach are challenging since I'm in the lab (where I can't eat or drink) for 4 hours straight in the mornings. There is a way - and I have the will...I'll figure it out I'm sure.

I'm working with my sister to help my nephew with his training program. Turns out that in high school athletics the coach doesnt really pay that much attention to freshman. Seems a bit odd to me, I mean really - how is he supposed to get better if you just turn him loose on the weights with no information about how much to lift, when to lift, what lifts to do when. So, with some guidance and advice from Brad, I'm helping out via telephone and email - we're setting him up with a program and I'm really excited because during spring break he'll be coming to Louisville where we can lift together - and Brad and Chance have agreed to spend some time working with him and giving his some much needed guidance and knowledge! I'm super excited to be able to help pass on all the information they give to me.

Got solid cardio in 6 days this week - mostly treadmill as my hamstrings have been touchy and stairs or arc cause serious pain. Ran sprints one day, but with all the new plyo moves we've added for accessory lifts, my knee is just not willing to allow more than one day a week of running. Working the incline on the treadmill and boosting speed intervals all the way to 4.7 though...any faster and I'm at a jog (jogging at 15% just hurts, but I'm shooting for that this week)

This week started my heavy lifting week (5-3-1 week), still have heavy military press and deadlift to do, then deload starts on Thursday. Physically I'm really looking forward to the break, lower weight and lighter cardio for a week will do my legs some good. Mentally deload is always tough for me, I know its necessary, I know its important, I just wish there was a private lifting area for deloaders lol.

By the way - if I mention a lift/exercise that you are not familiar with, try youtube...they have most of these exercises on video :)

Lifting sessions for the week included:

Tuesday - Military Press (3-3-3+ Week)

1x3 - 70
1x3 - 80
1x4 - 90
Tricep Pressdowns - 5x10 50lbs
Lat Pulldowns 5x10 90 lbs

Wednesday - Deadlift (3-3-3+ Week)
1x3 - 175
1x3 - 205
1x3 - 225 (8)
Broad Jumps - 5x10 (3 carpet tiles - up from ~2 7/8...shooting for 4 next week)
Pistol Squats - 4x10 (these hurt like no-other - its basically a 1legged squat standing on a step, trying to touch the heel of the other foot to the floor)

Thursday - Bench (5-3-1+ Week)
1x5 - 100
1x3 - 110
1x5 - 125 (the first one was all me, the last four were assisted - actually hit fatigue with those)
Incline Press - 5x10 - 35 - went lighter on these because my arms were jello after the bench
Chest Supported Row - 5x10x2 - 45lbs
5x10x3 - 70lbs
I actually felt this for a solid two days after lifting...that's rare on bench for me, and I have to say I enjoyed it...yeah I know I'm a little on the sadistic side :)

Saturday - Front Squat (5-3-1+ week)
1x5 - 115
1x3 - 135
1x5 - 150 (hit full fatigue with these - legs will appreciate the off day tomorrow)
Glute-Ham Raise 5x10
Vertical Jump 5x10

Looking for a positive food week, at least 5 days with a gallon+ water, and solid workouts heading into deload. Working hard on staying positive!

Limits are in your head - your body is capable of more than you ever knew possible! Keep pushing forward!

Weekend Training and other stuff

Not been a bad weekend overall - a little too much salt and not enough water on Friday, a little to much coffee on Saturday, but all in all my food has been pretty good. Moving my off day to Fridays will be great going forward I think - I find that the more time I have to sit around the house, the more likely I am to "graze" on whatever is handy. Moving my offday to a work day means that I'm less likely to have that issue and weekends allow me some quiet time in the gym without the chaos of the day during the week.

My nephew competed in his second powerlifting tournament this week - and while he's struggling a little, mostly due to not having enough knowledge and coaching, we are working on fixing that problem. I'm really happy that I have the resources to be able to get him the help and information he needs...I know he'll be making progress in no time.

Planning on cooking enough food today to get me through the week - I find that when I get home at night the last thing I want to do is cook, so if I'm going to nuke something, I'd rather it be something that I can control quality and calorically. Black Beans and Rice and Chicken Polenta Casserole are on the menu for the week, along with some really fabulous veggie burgers and of course the staple frozen veggies!

On another note, I'm shooting for getting in a gallon of water by lunch time every day - I've been struggling with the water in take for a couple weeks now and need to really push for that. I spend alot of my days sitting at my desk working on my data for my research...no reason I can't get the water in on these days!

Anyway - here is the workouts I did yesterday and today - felt pretty good afterward, although my hamstrings and glutes are not happy today at all lol.

Saturday - Front Squat Training Day 3x3 week

bar only 3x10 (my hips were REALLY stiff...needed a little extra warm up to get moving)
105 3x3
120 3x3
135 3x11 (I'm going with the count that Sarah had since Brad was focused on spotting and I was focused on lifting) By the time I finished these my legs felt like rubber-bands. Could have probably squeezed out two more, but the bar was starting to roll off and I was worried about dropping it.

For accessory lifts - we switched it up and added in some plyo to increase my ability to explode out of deadlifts and squats - the glute ham raises hurt like you wouldn't believe, even more so the next day but boy do they work.

Glute Ham Raise - 5x10
Vertical Jump - 5x10

35 minutes on the treadmill
5 min 3.0mph, 3.5% incline, increase to 5% at end of 5min
10 min 3.2mph, increase incline by 1% each minute
15 min 15% incline, alternate between 4mph and 3.5mph each minute starting at the 15 min mark
5 min cooldown.

Sunday - Cardio and Stretching

Arc Trainer - 10 minute warm up 30% resistance, 4% incline 100-175 strides per minute

Stretching for my lowerback and hamstrings which are rediculously tight today
Stairmaster 35 minute Intervals

5 minutes - level increase each minute (Levels - 3, 5, 7, 10, 13)
5 minutes - level increase each minute (Levels - 3, 5, 8, 11, 14)
5 minutes - level increase each minutes (Levels - 3, 6, 9, 12, 15)
Repeat
5 minute cool down at level 3

Keep moving forward! You have the ability to change your life :)

It is all about making the Decision...

I've pondered writing a blog for awhile now, wondering if I had anything to say that anybody might be interested in reading. I've had alot of people over the last few weeks tell me that they have been inspired by the change I made in my life over the last couple years, and while I am honored by the thought, its a little scary to think that people look at me that way. I've decided to go ahead with this, if for no other reason than to keep myself motivated and to have a way to remember this journey down the road. I think that the best way to start this off is to give you a little background on where I was, and how I got where I am. The entries from here on out will be a little bit of everything - my daily training log, food log, motivational quotes - daily ups and downs. If it interests you, helps you feel less like you are the only one with the struggles, entertains you...then I've done my job and paid forward some of the help and motivation that I've recieved from all of the great people in my life. So here goes nothing...

Most of my youth was spent participating in sports, softball, basketball, volleyball...whatever the season, I was on a team - it was what we did as a family. I was active and really enjoyed being that way. In high school I started working, my dad got sick, and team sports gave way to other things, I became less and less active.

I found myself making excuses, I come from a long line of large women, I'm just genetically predisposed to being over weight, so why fight it? I told myself I was still healthy, perfectly capable of doing whatever I wanted to...my weight never stopped me from doing what I wanted to, at least that's what I told myself. I "dieted" occassionally, bought all the books and magazines, dreamed of being a thinner happier me, but at the time I was looking for the magic bullet. By the time I started my PhD two years ago, I'd become dangerously unhealthy - high blood pressure, high cholesterol, bordering on type II diabetes...and I realized that there was NO way I would survive field work and the stress of a PhD continuing along that path. It was time to make a choice.

Every day on my way to and from work I drove past an Urban Active gym. It was literally 5 minutes from my door. I had called and talked to a sales guy a couple of times, trying to decide if I really wanted to commit to the change. I had joined gyms in the past, well I had paid for memberships anyway - but they went unused. I knew that this time had to be different - this was an all or nothing deal. So I took the tour, filled out the paperwork, got my little membership key tag...and then I went on vacation for a week.

When I came home, I talked my little sister into checking it out with me - I had not yet actually attempted to work out in the gym - although I'd been a member for a couple weeks now. We went to the facility a little closer to her place (a much larger, nicer facility) and while she was on her tour, I spoke with one of the training directors. Each member is given 1 free session with a trainer...while this is generally a sales push, I had already decided it was a necessity for me. I HAD to have someone to hold me accountable or I KNEW it was going to be just like all the times before.

It was the BEST decision I have ever made - I was assigned Brad. I was REALLY nervous that first session - honestly I'd gone in hoping for a woman trainer (I wasnt sure how comfortable I would be working out with a good looking, young guy watching me in all my out of shape glory). I walked into that first session determined...I was DONE with the old me, done being unhealthy, and unhappy. I was also scared to death - I knew what was coming - the scale AND the measuring tape. I stepped on the scale and saw the numbers roll - I'd hit my highest weight, my body fat percent was in the dangerous zone. Brad, bless him, never flinched, didn't react at all - just wrote down the numbers and took the measurements. We talked for most of that session about goals and nutrition stuff. I had been reading a few books and was working on eating only whole foods - nothing that came out a box made it into my kitchen.

I owe alot to Brad - he pushed me and held me accountable. He showed me that I am capable of so much more than I ever thought possible. He calls me on my shit - when I slack he lets me know it. When I do well, he lets me know that as well. He refuses to take much credit for my progress, but I know that without him I would still be the old me, struggling and unhappy...he is an amazing trainer, coach and friend!

The training department at Taylorsville UA is an amazing place - the trainers (male and female alike) are supportive and helpful. I consider them all friends. I've recieved so much help and motivation, I don't know that I can ever truly repay them for what they do on a daily basis to make going to and being in the gym so much more fun.

That was over 1 1/2 years ago and today I'm a new person -

*Then, I was taking two blood pressure medications, one cholesterol medication and glucophage (basically what was keeping me from being a type II diabetic)
*Today - the only pills I take are vitamins and supplements...my blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar are perfect - and my resting heart rate is an amazing 46bpm!

*ThenI Swore I would never run
*Today While I don't like distance/endurance running I LOVE to sprint - 10-12 mph for 30 seconds at a time

*ThenI couldn't handle more than 5 minutes on the stairs or arc trainer at the lowest resistance and speed -
*Today 30 minutes is a minimum and I LOVE HIIT training (High Intensity Interval Training)

*Then, I could barely lift the 25lb bag of cat litter and it EXHAUSTED me to carry books...
*Today I'm training for Powerlifting competition and live to lift heavy weight

Along with the physical changes came mental changes - I no longer feel like the fat girl every time I walk into a room. I can spend time with my friends and not feel uncomfortable in my skin. I am happier than I've been in years!

Is it always easy? No. Do I occassionally slide back into bad habits with food? Absolutely. But I don't let those occassions stop me. Every day it is a choice - I choose to be healthy, I choose to be happy.