So I'm starting deload again - really need it after the last three weeks of heavy lifting. Made some significant progress in some areas (managed to pull 315 on my deadlift for 4 just this past week) and some minor progress in other areas (squat form is slowly getting better and my confidence in the lift is SLOWLY improving).
This week is all about focusing on my form in all my lifts - light weight=perfect opportunity to do a serious form check - every lift as perfect as I can get it. I'm also planning to focusing a little more on the cardio this week - let it slide a little the last few week, but I need to get back at it.
My weight is still stuck - even though I'm eating and doing everything I should be - and its super frustrating. I NEED to get some of this weight off, for competition yes, but also for me - I HATE being stuck like this. I just keep plugging on - hoping that at some point my body will realize that its ok to let it go - really looking forward to the day that happens.
Still working on my attitude adjustment - trying to stay positive and trying to reduce the amount of "whining" that I've been doing - lifting hurts, really need to learn to suck it up and live with the pain because pain=progress in this particular arena. Talking about it doesn't make it hurt less - just makes it more annoying.
Planning on remaxing all my lifts next week - I'm expecting increases in Deadlift and Squat (assuming I can get my form right), Bench still feels weak to me - all I can do is keep working and hope that things fall into place when I need them to.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
I'm not made of stone...
So I've spent most of my life with these nice comfy walls built up - good solid protection from the world at large. Seems as though along with the weight, I've lost some of those walls, and while that is, in theory, a good thing...it leaves me vulnerable to having to deal with feelings that I used to just suppress with food. I may appear tough, you may think nothing ever really gets to me, but inside I'm still vulnerable to all the old insecurities that lead to me being overweight, unhappy, and unhealthy for so many years.
While most of the time I can deal with them, occassionally someone will say the wrong thing the wrong way and I become that fat, unaccepted, unworthy girl that I was for most of my adult life. The problem is most of the time this happens with people that I've put my complete trust in, people who honestly have NO idea that while they were joking, they've managed to hit one of those buttons. I'm left feeling hurt, and angry, and they have no idea or understanding of why. Its not something I can explain in the moment - because that would result in me sounding like I'm some big baby who can't take a joke, so I just shut down, revert to being quiet and trying to fade back into the background until I get over it. Of course I never really get "over it", I just stuff it down where it festers until another button gets pushed and I get even more hurt.
Don't really know how to deal with this new piece of self discovery - just felt like I really needed to get it off my chest.
While most of the time I can deal with them, occassionally someone will say the wrong thing the wrong way and I become that fat, unaccepted, unworthy girl that I was for most of my adult life. The problem is most of the time this happens with people that I've put my complete trust in, people who honestly have NO idea that while they were joking, they've managed to hit one of those buttons. I'm left feeling hurt, and angry, and they have no idea or understanding of why. Its not something I can explain in the moment - because that would result in me sounding like I'm some big baby who can't take a joke, so I just shut down, revert to being quiet and trying to fade back into the background until I get over it. Of course I never really get "over it", I just stuff it down where it festers until another button gets pushed and I get even more hurt.
Don't really know how to deal with this new piece of self discovery - just felt like I really needed to get it off my chest.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Prowler Sprints and Squat work
So Friday was one of those days where I just really wanted to beat the crap out of something, which is exactly what I told Brad when I texted him asking for an open session. Apparently he was confused and thought I wanted HIM to beat the crap out of ME...thus the prowler sprints. 30 minutes of prowler sprints - all the while him telling me that I'm not giving 100%, ended with me as close as I've ever been to throwing up. Literally sat on the floor in the bathroom for 20 minutes waiting to either throw up or for the room to stop spinning. Sad part is - in hind site, I think he was right - I didn't give him 100%. I'm finding the mental part of this process to be SOO much harder than the physical - pushing through the point where it hurts and I'm uncomfortable and giving everything I've got is scary. I hate it when he's right - which is pretty much all the damn time.
Anway - the session served its purpose - I was too nauseas and too exhausted to be irritated anymore, so mission accomplished.
Saturday was an odd gym day for me - got in early as usual to get in my pre-workout stretching and warm up, and headed for the squat rack. My squat is improving incrementally - I still have alot of work to do and alot of the problem is my confidence, which means I need to spend more time under the bar focusing on my form and getting my head straight. Spent most of that session (really all of that session) squatting - went from light weight to my heavy lift of the day, trying to correct form breaks (I keep dropping my head and shoulders forward, which pulls the weight forward and puts me in this really impossible position to get up out of). I will get it. Brad headed off to his clients, I continued with the lifting plan for the day - took about another half hour to finish everything on my own.
Here's the breakdown of the session:
Squats:
2x5xbar only - warm up
2x3x135
1x3x190
1x3x215
1x3x240 <-- this was actually only 2 which sucks
2x10x135 <-- attempting to fix form and get some muscle memory.
Conventional DL (turned into Rackpulls) 5x3x215
Conventional RDL 3x10x145 <--need to go heavier on these next time, they're too easy at 145
Walking Lunge 3x10x27.5(2)
Single Leg Glute Bridge 3x10 each leg
Waited around for my little sister - she wanted some help with an upperbody lifting workout, then did some minor cardio with Sarah before her training session (at this point I've been in the gym for 3.5 hours and still have not done any cardio). Hung out with Sarah while she lifted, then headed for cardio. Did about 20 minutes on the treadmill before we decided enough was enough for the day.
Ran into Brad on the way out - he'd asked for a Bench spot (lift-off really) earlier. Hung out with him while he lifted. That was quite an enlightening experience for me. He's demonstrated pretty much every lift I've ever done, but I've never seen him lift at a level that was work for him. Seeing him work helped bring home the fact that I'm still holding back - he's told me before that lifting is not supposed to be "comfortable" but I don't think it ever really clicked until I saw him work. When he demonstrates for me it all looks so easy. I got to see the reality of how hard he pushes himself and I realized he's trying to get me to that point that I can/will push myself that hard with or without him. I think I'm really starting to "get it".
So saturday ended up being a 7 1/2 hour day in the gym - which was a lot of fun (really no place I'd rather have been), except I commited the cardinal sin of not eating during that time - bad planning on my part. Was STARVING by the time I got done.
Back on track today - getting the water in and focusing on no more whining, and no more holding back. This is my heavy week - I'm planning on pulling 315 at least 3 times during Wednesday's max DL session, focusing on my squat form and pushing through the pain to see how far my body will take me.
Anway - the session served its purpose - I was too nauseas and too exhausted to be irritated anymore, so mission accomplished.
Saturday was an odd gym day for me - got in early as usual to get in my pre-workout stretching and warm up, and headed for the squat rack. My squat is improving incrementally - I still have alot of work to do and alot of the problem is my confidence, which means I need to spend more time under the bar focusing on my form and getting my head straight. Spent most of that session (really all of that session) squatting - went from light weight to my heavy lift of the day, trying to correct form breaks (I keep dropping my head and shoulders forward, which pulls the weight forward and puts me in this really impossible position to get up out of). I will get it. Brad headed off to his clients, I continued with the lifting plan for the day - took about another half hour to finish everything on my own.
Here's the breakdown of the session:
Squats:
2x5xbar only - warm up
2x3x135
1x3x190
1x3x215
1x3x240 <-- this was actually only 2 which sucks
2x10x135 <-- attempting to fix form and get some muscle memory.
Conventional DL (turned into Rackpulls) 5x3x215
Conventional RDL 3x10x145 <--need to go heavier on these next time, they're too easy at 145
Walking Lunge 3x10x27.5(2)
Single Leg Glute Bridge 3x10 each leg
Waited around for my little sister - she wanted some help with an upperbody lifting workout, then did some minor cardio with Sarah before her training session (at this point I've been in the gym for 3.5 hours and still have not done any cardio). Hung out with Sarah while she lifted, then headed for cardio. Did about 20 minutes on the treadmill before we decided enough was enough for the day.
Ran into Brad on the way out - he'd asked for a Bench spot (lift-off really) earlier. Hung out with him while he lifted. That was quite an enlightening experience for me. He's demonstrated pretty much every lift I've ever done, but I've never seen him lift at a level that was work for him. Seeing him work helped bring home the fact that I'm still holding back - he's told me before that lifting is not supposed to be "comfortable" but I don't think it ever really clicked until I saw him work. When he demonstrates for me it all looks so easy. I got to see the reality of how hard he pushes himself and I realized he's trying to get me to that point that I can/will push myself that hard with or without him. I think I'm really starting to "get it".
So saturday ended up being a 7 1/2 hour day in the gym - which was a lot of fun (really no place I'd rather have been), except I commited the cardinal sin of not eating during that time - bad planning on my part. Was STARVING by the time I got done.
Back on track today - getting the water in and focusing on no more whining, and no more holding back. This is my heavy week - I'm planning on pulling 315 at least 3 times during Wednesday's max DL session, focusing on my squat form and pushing through the pain to see how far my body will take me.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
New Week - New Attitude
So with the beginning of a new week, I have decided to put forth a new attitude. I have been dancing with a serious case of burn-out for the last few weeks. I think alot of it is the way I am approaching things. I've been giving 50% to everything trying to maintain the energy necessary to get it all done, when in reality I'm only actually accomplishing half of what I need to do and its taking twice as long as it should. Focus is my big problem, when I'm in the gym I'm thinking about work and when I'm at work I'm thinking about lifting...obviously NOT the best way to accomplish goals on either front.
So, I started the week determined to focus on what is in front of me and deal with the rest as it comes.
Monday's lifting session went well - although I have to say solo lifting is not nearly as fun as it is with someone else around. Here's the breakdown:
Speed bench - 5x5x105 - increased the weight here, I was informed the other day that I am apparently a "round-downer" which translates into "sissy" for those that don't speak Brad...so, everything gets rounded up from here on out - honestly it makes more sense to round up - you simply don't get stronger by lifting less weight.
Superset 1:
T-bar rows 4x10x80
Band pushups 4x10
Landmines - 3x20x70
Superset 2:
DB Press - 3x10x40
DB Row - 3x10x45
The goal is to increase these to 45 and 50 next week - I'm a little intimidated by the increase without a spot, but its time to suck it up and push through the fear.
Cardio - Treadmill sprints incline 3.5-5.0, 6mph - 9.5mph, 30 seconds on, two minutes down - finished with a 30sec sprint at 15% incl and 6.0mph.
Tuesday - Cardio
Stairmill - 30 min, 5 min intervals 3-13, 3-14, 3-16, repeat
Looking forward to max dead day tomorrow - going in full bore, there is no "sissy" in this girl!
So, I started the week determined to focus on what is in front of me and deal with the rest as it comes.
Monday's lifting session went well - although I have to say solo lifting is not nearly as fun as it is with someone else around. Here's the breakdown:
Speed bench - 5x5x105 - increased the weight here, I was informed the other day that I am apparently a "round-downer" which translates into "sissy" for those that don't speak Brad...so, everything gets rounded up from here on out - honestly it makes more sense to round up - you simply don't get stronger by lifting less weight.
Superset 1:
T-bar rows 4x10x80
Band pushups 4x10
Landmines - 3x20x70
Superset 2:
DB Press - 3x10x40
DB Row - 3x10x45
The goal is to increase these to 45 and 50 next week - I'm a little intimidated by the increase without a spot, but its time to suck it up and push through the fear.
Cardio - Treadmill sprints incline 3.5-5.0, 6mph - 9.5mph, 30 seconds on, two minutes down - finished with a 30sec sprint at 15% incl and 6.0mph.
Tuesday - Cardio
Stairmill - 30 min, 5 min intervals 3-13, 3-14, 3-16, repeat
Looking forward to max dead day tomorrow - going in full bore, there is no "sissy" in this girl!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Lifting and some random thoughts
Lifting went better after Monday's disaster this week. Ate better, got more sleep and my energy level and strength increased significantly.
Tuesday - DE Bench
Speed Bench - 5x5x100
Super-Set 1: 40x10
Chest-Supported Row - 70lbs
supersetted with banded push-ups
Landmines - 4x10x70
Superset 2:3x10
DB presses 40lbx2
DB Rows 45lb
Wednesday - Cardio (stairs 40 minutes intervals from 3-16)
Thursday - ME Squat
Speed Deads - 5x5x225
Squat - 3x5x135 Form Work (decided to work on fixing my form rather than super heavy weight today)
2x5x180 - these were much easier than Monday's 170 even without the belt, so we must be making progress
Conventional RDL's - 4x10x140
Walking Lunges - 3x10x25
Single Leg Glute Bridge - 3x10 each leg
Skipped vertical jumps till we can fix my landing issues
Stairs - 30 minutes, intervals 3-16
Friday - tires, sledge hammers, prowlers and such
Heavy Tire Flips - 2x5
Sledge hammer swings - 2x10
Prowler Sprints (+270lbs) - x5
Saturday - ME Bench
Warm up 5x45
5x95
5x115
4x135
DB Rolling Extensions -
2x10x15
1x6x15
1x7x15 (with assistance)
Military Press 3x10x70
Stiff Arm Pull downs - 3x10x40
Plank: 3x:60
Treadmill - cardio 30 min intervals
I'm seeing a difference in my mental process lately - in years past, stress, disappointment, fatigue, pretty much any emotion had me running for high carb high fat "comfort foods". While I can't always get there when I want to, those emotions now have me wishing for heavy weights and hard work - stress relief at its finest. Keep focused, keep working and eventually success is sure to come!
Tuesday - DE Bench
Speed Bench - 5x5x100
Super-Set 1: 40x10
Chest-Supported Row - 70lbs
supersetted with banded push-ups
Landmines - 4x10x70
Superset 2:3x10
DB presses 40lbx2
DB Rows 45lb
Wednesday - Cardio (stairs 40 minutes intervals from 3-16)
Thursday - ME Squat
Speed Deads - 5x5x225
Squat - 3x5x135 Form Work (decided to work on fixing my form rather than super heavy weight today)
2x5x180 - these were much easier than Monday's 170 even without the belt, so we must be making progress
Conventional RDL's - 4x10x140
Walking Lunges - 3x10x25
Single Leg Glute Bridge - 3x10 each leg
Skipped vertical jumps till we can fix my landing issues
Stairs - 30 minutes, intervals 3-16
Friday - tires, sledge hammers, prowlers and such
Heavy Tire Flips - 2x5
Sledge hammer swings - 2x10
Prowler Sprints (+270lbs) - x5
Saturday - ME Bench
Warm up 5x45
5x95
5x115
4x135
DB Rolling Extensions -
2x10x15
1x6x15
1x7x15 (with assistance)
Military Press 3x10x70
Stiff Arm Pull downs - 3x10x40
Plank: 3x:60
Treadmill - cardio 30 min intervals
I'm seeing a difference in my mental process lately - in years past, stress, disappointment, fatigue, pretty much any emotion had me running for high carb high fat "comfort foods". While I can't always get there when I want to, those emotions now have me wishing for heavy weights and hard work - stress relief at its finest. Keep focused, keep working and eventually success is sure to come!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Post Deload Troubles
So, last week was a serious deload for me, didn't pick up a single weight except for some really light bench and military press on Monday. Spent the week doing rehab work, mobility work, form work and some cardio. Really felt like I needed the break, and I was hoping it would allow me to come back super strong on Monday...
Went in Monday afternoon, super tired, and attempted a Max Effort Deadlift day that ended up a disaster in my personal opinion - here's how it went
Speed Squat - 5x5x170 - these like to killed me they were so heavy. And while the term "speed squat" may imply I was moving quickly (which was the plan), what really happened was I struggled to get to depth and then struggled to get back up. My form has become a DISASTER. I'm leaning too far forward, which is putting me at a bad angle to drive the weight up, and worse than that, I apparently have a corkscrew issue with my hips where my left side is slightly forward of the right - this results in a lovely little corkscrew motion on my way up out of the squat - PROBLEM!
Followed this mess with Max Effort Deads - again everything felt SUPER HEAVY!
5x135 (this was supposed to be a light warm up - not today)
5x215
5x250
3x280 (that was SUPPOSED to be 5+ but I barely got the 3rd one off the floor)
Did the rest of my accessory work - tried to stay motivated but I was drained
Bulgarian split squats (4x10 each leg)
Broad Jumps (3x10 - Brad nixed the last set as apparently I'm landing like a ton of bricks and he's afraid I'm going to hurt my knee until we work on landing form again)
Pallof Press 3x45
Made a half-hearted attempt at cardio (15 minutes) then gave up, came home, ate dinner and went to bed.
Given this disaster, I was wondering where I went wrong - after such a serious deload I should have been raring to go...this is what I came up with:
1) I had my monthly treat day on Saturday after we took measurements. While I didn't go too far off the reservation, I did have ALOT of salt and not nearly enough water.
2) I didn't rest as much as I probably should on my off day - went walking with Mom and my Aunt up the side of Iroquois Park - about 2 hours (half uphill/half down hill) and didn't get enough food or water (no way I made my 2500 cal that day)
3) Not nearly enough sleep on Sunday night, followed by WAY under eating on Monday (partially as a result of the temporary crown for my rootcanal that was put on that morning).
So it was sort of a perfect storm of wrong-ness, but its a lesson I definitly learned! Have to EAT to LIFT!
Did MUCH better today - had a decent Dynamic Effort Bench day:
Speed Bench 5x5x100 (yes these were actually done with speed)
Chest Supported Row 4x10x70
Supersetted with Band Pushups (4x10)
Landmines - 3x20x70
Dumbell presses - 3x10x40(each hand)
Supersetted with DB Rows (3x10x45)
Got in 40 solid minutes of decent cardio (would have been better but apparently my shoe/sock combination didn't work out well as I now have a fancy new blister on my heel and NO idea why)
Tomorrow is a cardio day - and I may throw in some more squat form work (considering trying something new called a wall squat to help me work on staying upright and not leaning so far forward into the squat, but have to clear that with the boss first)
Things WILL improve - just have to keep plugging away!
Later Ya'll :)
Went in Monday afternoon, super tired, and attempted a Max Effort Deadlift day that ended up a disaster in my personal opinion - here's how it went
Speed Squat - 5x5x170 - these like to killed me they were so heavy. And while the term "speed squat" may imply I was moving quickly (which was the plan), what really happened was I struggled to get to depth and then struggled to get back up. My form has become a DISASTER. I'm leaning too far forward, which is putting me at a bad angle to drive the weight up, and worse than that, I apparently have a corkscrew issue with my hips where my left side is slightly forward of the right - this results in a lovely little corkscrew motion on my way up out of the squat - PROBLEM!
Followed this mess with Max Effort Deads - again everything felt SUPER HEAVY!
5x135 (this was supposed to be a light warm up - not today)
5x215
5x250
3x280 (that was SUPPOSED to be 5+ but I barely got the 3rd one off the floor)
Did the rest of my accessory work - tried to stay motivated but I was drained
Bulgarian split squats (4x10 each leg)
Broad Jumps (3x10 - Brad nixed the last set as apparently I'm landing like a ton of bricks and he's afraid I'm going to hurt my knee until we work on landing form again)
Pallof Press 3x45
Made a half-hearted attempt at cardio (15 minutes) then gave up, came home, ate dinner and went to bed.
Given this disaster, I was wondering where I went wrong - after such a serious deload I should have been raring to go...this is what I came up with:
1) I had my monthly treat day on Saturday after we took measurements. While I didn't go too far off the reservation, I did have ALOT of salt and not nearly enough water.
2) I didn't rest as much as I probably should on my off day - went walking with Mom and my Aunt up the side of Iroquois Park - about 2 hours (half uphill/half down hill) and didn't get enough food or water (no way I made my 2500 cal that day)
3) Not nearly enough sleep on Sunday night, followed by WAY under eating on Monday (partially as a result of the temporary crown for my rootcanal that was put on that morning).
So it was sort of a perfect storm of wrong-ness, but its a lesson I definitly learned! Have to EAT to LIFT!
Did MUCH better today - had a decent Dynamic Effort Bench day:
Speed Bench 5x5x100 (yes these were actually done with speed)
Chest Supported Row 4x10x70
Supersetted with Band Pushups (4x10)
Landmines - 3x20x70
Dumbell presses - 3x10x40(each hand)
Supersetted with DB Rows (3x10x45)
Got in 40 solid minutes of decent cardio (would have been better but apparently my shoe/sock combination didn't work out well as I now have a fancy new blister on my heel and NO idea why)
Tomorrow is a cardio day - and I may throw in some more squat form work (considering trying something new called a wall squat to help me work on staying upright and not leaning so far forward into the squat, but have to clear that with the boss first)
Things WILL improve - just have to keep plugging away!
Later Ya'll :)
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